10 Technologies That Could Have Saved Rapunzel

Posted on by admin | in Nannies

With the recent success of the loose Disney adaptation of this classic German fairytale, Tangled, interest in the tale of Rapunzel has spiked considerably. Inspired by the updated girl-power theme and modern sensibilities embedded in the age-old tale, here are ten technologies that could have saved Rapunzel from her troubles.

  1. Grocery Stores – Had Rapunzel’s pregnant mother been able to access one of today’s supersized grocery stores with overflowing produce departments, she might have been able to legitimately purchase the rampion that drove her husband to make the bargain that sealed their daughter’s fate.
  2. Delivery Services – Even if transportation was an issue for Rapunzel’s biological parents, the grocery delivery services available in today’s world might have been another solution to that pesky rampion-procurement problem.
  3. Hydroponic Gardening – The Brothers Grimm never mention the season or the weather around the time of the mother’s pregnancy, only that the thriving garden was owned by a very powerful witch. Assuming that the witches powers would allow her to grow lush flowers and produce even during the winter season, thus making her garden the only place for rampion to grow during that time of year, the modern advances in hydroponic and indoor gardening would have made it possible for Rapunzel’s parents to grow their own rampion. In this scenario, they never would have stolen from the witch, so she never would have demanded their unborn child.
  4. Modern Police Forces – Even a witch is no match for modern crime labs and police forces. Rather than surrender their daughter without a fight, Rapunzel’s parents could have enlisted their aid to stop her kidnapping.
  5. Private Investigation Services – Today’s developed world leaves far fewer remote areas for a witch to hide a child, and makes it almost impossible to go about the business of daily life without leaving a paper trail behind. An experienced private investigator with modern technology on his side would be able to restore Rapunzel to her parents long before her twelfth birthday.
  6. The Internet – The modern witch would find it quite difficult to keep today’s teenager from mutiny based on sheer boredom without Internet service. With an online link to the outside world, Rapunzel could have easily engineered her escape without resorting to a risky plan hastily cobbled together with the aid of the Prince.
  7. Cell Phones – With a cell phone at her disposal, calling the Prince or sending him a text to warn him of her banishment would allow Rapunzel to keep him out of the witch’s clutches, saving his eyesight and the years he lost searching for his beloved.
  8. Child Protective Service – A single anonymous call to Child Protective Services would have sent a horde of social workers to Rapunzel’s aid, springing her from her prison and landing the witch in one of a more official variety.
  9. Hardware Stores – The escape plan hatched by Rapunzel and the Prince begins to fall apart when they rely upon the tedious, time-consuming task of creating a ladder from skeins of silk rather than simply bringing an already-assembled modern ladder to her window. One quick trip to the hardware store would have sprung Rapunzel from her tower immediately, eliminating any chance of the young lady fouling up her own plans with a slip of the tongue.
  10. Global Positioning Devices – Slipping a small GPS tracker into a pocket or the folds of a voluminous dress while being whisked away to her desert exile would have led the Prince straight to her, provided that he got her text message and managed to hold on to those charming eyeballs.

There are virtually thousands of devices and technologies that we take for granted each day that would have saved Rapunzel from her fate altogether, or at least prevented the tragic series of events between her separation from the Prince and their reunion. Then again, generations of children would have grown up without knowing her tale, so perhaps it’s all for the best.

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